Thursday, October 13, 2011

Why I currently feel like a fat, frumpy freak

Other than the obscene amount of extra poundage I've currently got taking up residence on my body (#weightwatchersdropout), the reason I've felt like a fat, frumpy freak is because I've been forced to flaunt these flats all week thanks to my little ankle injury courtesy of my buddy Bourbon Street. 
Target - $14.99
I don't do flats.  I wear flips.  I didn't even own flats until I realized on Sunday that I couldn't go to work in flip-flops and had to hobble out to Target to by those flats above.  High heels were obviously out of the question.  And kitten heels are against my religion.

I read a quote in Cosmo once by my celebrity doppelgänger Lauren Conrad that said it best:
Couldn't have said it better myself Lauren.  So I'm stuck with these flats until my ankle recovers.  Don't get me wrong, I totally think flats are super adorbs on the right body type and in an appropriate setting/outfit:

They look so cutie. On me, though?  I wish I could co-sign, but I just can't.  I'm too short and stumpy for flats, which is why they make me feel even larger in charger aka a fat, frumpy freak. 

Anywho ....

I've got a dilemma.  I'm sucking it up and wearing those black patent flats to work every day.  Barf bag. However, Saturday we're throwing my friend Courtney a "Cupcakes & Cocktails" themed bridal shower.  Sneak peak of the invites I designed by the way.  You like?
My apologies. Looks better without all the info blurred out, but the last thing I need in my life is a stalker.
I can't possibly wear those flats to the shower.  I'll feel so un-Lindsey like and uncomf.  I know I'll be wearing a dress, but I have to find suitable footwear first. What do y'all think of a shorter wedge or is this the kitten heel's cousin?  I will not be caught dead in a mullet shoe. 

It's not technically summer, although it still feels like it in Texas. So would a "dressy" sandal like this be inapropo?
I need your opinions stat.  Am I totally missing any other flat alternatives for a whack ankle??

Your gimpy & frumpy friend The Bargain Blonde
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  1. hahahahahaha I HATE kitten heels!!! They are the WORST! My opinion is the cute dressy sandal. FOR SURE. Not that other cousin-it.

    I love flats.

    and, I love that invitation! Good job! Only question is, where the heck was mine? I got no invite.

    Question. You know I love Target but do you like those shoes? All the flats I have ever bought at Target KILL my feet after one wear. Like I feel like my foot is going to all off.

    oh and not sure if I told you yet, but I am SO team Kristen.

  2. ok well now you went and added MY doppelganger stupid ugly kirsten dunst. thanks a lot.

  3. first of all YOU ARE NOT FAT AND FRUMPY.

    secondly, i must admit flats over heels.
    eep..dont hate tho..i just cant walk in them sometimes.
    plus, they make my feet hurt after a long walk or a night of dancing.

    but on a good note:
    hope your foot feels better soon, still cant believe u did that in NOLA. what a way to end a trip eh?

  4. I'm sure you look better than you think you do, but I can understand... I'm likin' the dressy sandals. I think they are totally appropriate!

  5. i feel like those shorter wedges fall in the mullet shoe category. go with the dressier sandals. those are perfectly fine for a bridal shower.

  6. Girl, those sandals are perfectly fine to wear! And I love those invitations! Too cute!

  7. The dressy sandals. It's supposed to be in the 80's here all weekend, so you'll be fine.

    The wedges just look weird, especially if you normally wear tall ones.

  8. The wedges are cute. But I have no issue with a kitten heel, so please take that into consideration. And if it's hot wear the sandal. Especially if you already own it. Have fun at the party - cute invitation.

  9. I think if you can wear sandals do it, that last pair is cute and would still dress up your outfit a bit. Enjoy the shower. Those invites are adorable.

  10. LOVE LOVE LOVE the invites! What a cute shower idea!

    I'm so sorry about your ankle! Hope it gets better ASAP!

    I love the last sandal! I still wear sandals to work with dresses and pants and it is WAYYY colder in NY than Texas! Do it!!

  11. This post just makes me want a personal stylist. People don't understand how difficult it can be to be short. I can't reach the top shelf at the grocery store and like not even half of everything I try on looks decent on me. I'm realizing how much I need to cut OUT of my wardrobe and this includes most of my flats.

    Anyway, I'd be hesitant to buy kitten wedges hahaha. Unless for some reason they're super cute and you'd wear them even after you're healed, I'd go with some dressy sandals. Besides, I'd hope no one would be like, "Um, excuse me. WHY aren't you wearing heels?" P.S. the invitation is a beauty!!

  12. Ick at the kitten heels. I had no idea what they were so I resorted to Google to explain and it's a no wonder they aren't in my closet. Gross. And I think the short wedgy shoe you posted is related in some way to the kitten heel, I would go with the cute sandals since it is still warm in Texas. Plus, sandals and dresses are presh together, you can't go wrong! :)

  13. I own sandals almost *exactly* like those, and as long as it's warm out, I don't think it's inappropriate to wear those.

    Regarding the shorter wedge, those wedges you posted somewhat reminded me of a pair of peep-toe Cole Haan's I saw the other day.

    I think you're good to go either way :)

  14. Also, just saw these at Nordstrom's website:'harlow'_peep_toe_wedge:338358&cm_pla=shoes:women:pumps&cm_ven=Froogle&mr:referralID=NA&mr:trackingCode=80ED1A61-3C3D-E011-997F-001517B1882A


    I'm with the majority and LOVE me some tall stilettos, but anyone that doesn't think these are cute prob has no style anyway.

  15. Oh hey new friend.

    Im apparently guilty of wearing the mullet shoe. Add that to the fashion mistakes I've made this year.

    Please wear dressy sandals. They are so super cute.

    Agree with raven, target flats kill.

    And if you are fat and frumpy, then id hate to see what I am.

    Happy healing, fellow grace. : )

  16. I loathe kitten heels myself, and although its still quite steamy here in good 'ole South Carolina, one of my peeves is when people wear sandals past... oh, lets say October. I'm not talking about "flops on lemme run to Tar-Jay for some tampons." I'm talking about all decked up when peeps have Halloween decorations up rocking a pair of gladiators. It's just not "seasonally appropriate" if you will. But you're injured so you get a free pass!

    Enjoy your weekend pretty lady!


  17. I HATE kitten heels...just looking at them on other people kill me. Big heel or no heel-no in between!! I have those target flats and really like them!!

  18. I know exactly how you feel. I HATE how flats make my legs just look so short and stumpy!

    would you hate me if I own a pair of kitten heels? I DO! but they are steve madden so i promise they are cute haha

    i like those flats with the wedge. I do not think you will look like a stumpy von dutch. You too pretty for that girrrrll


  19. I hate flats and only wear them if I will legitimately be on my feet all day at work. I think the dressy sandal would be approp for a shower and I LOVE the invites!

  20. Who even invented kitten heels? Blech!
    I would def stick with the sandals. I still rock them at work once in a while; it's still pretty steamy down here, so youre right it's ok!!

    Great job on the invites they look adorable!

  21. I think both of those options are cute. Kitten heels are so bad though! They are the mullet of shoes!

  22. I too am not a fan of kitten heels although my mother insists that I need a pair. She also doesn't believe in eye-lash curlers so sometimes I just don't listen. I say if its still warm enough go with the dressy sandle. Wedges are cute, but I think sometimes they can be a bit heavy/clunky which is clearly what you're trying to avoid.

  23. You're so not alone here. Flats make me feel did I even bother doing my hair and makeup for this day kinda lazy. Is that weird?

    I mean, I can pull them off sometimes (which is NOT very often) with a cute little dress and tights but that's about it...I definitely can't get away with wearing them at work...

    And no kitten heel wedge mullet shoe thing. Barf. I bought a pair of those once, wore them once and realized I looked like a midget wearing heels. Don't waste your money (or your dignity for that much.)

    Hello?!? Flips!!! We're in TEXAS! People are USED to seeing us in flip flops year round!! Wear a maxi dress if you don't want people to see your Bourbon Street wound.

    PS-LOVE that invite! Such a cute theme, too!

  24. Oh noooo kitten heels are the mullet of heels?!? How did I not know this?? Well because I am a giant tall freak and high heels make me feel like a fat frumpy giant freak! Hence shorter heels=my savior at times. I actually only own one pair of kitten heels, and I wore them a lot when I first got them and I was thinking of wearing them this weekend to a wedding because my feet hurt from running my half marathon last weekend.... but now I don't know!!! Thanks alot!! Hahaha ;) Maybe I'll suck it up and wear my high heels that I love, but then I tower over my bf... ugh decisions!!

  25. I don't heels, can't walk in em, I think I said that before...& deff no kitten heels, not cute. The cousin, eh...Dressy sandals & gladiators, yes! Deff on team gladiators, that's all I wear. & so sorry the ankle is still bad. Love the cupcakes & cocktails, right up my alley. Hmmm, should have named my blog cocktails, I don't even drink Cosmos anymore...

    xo SARMIN

  26. I say rock the flip flops - we are in Texas! I don't think I officially retire my flip flops for the season until December. BTW, love the shower theme - cute idea!

  27. 1. i've also read and lived by that LC quote about kitten heels.

    2. that invite is SOOOOO cute. good job, lindsey. good job. i need to show you the one i did for Sandi's baby shower while we're on the subject.

    3. those wedges aren't bad. most of my "flat" shoes have a small wedge so i dont' feel like i'm walking barefoot. but i think the sandal would be fine too.

  28. Oh dear lord, I died laughing about the Kitten Heel. The girl is right, they are the mullet of heels! I say wear flips to the party, I'm a Floridian- I live in flip flops. I believe that there is a BIG difference between fancy/dressy flips and beach flips! Go for it! And, the shower theme I LOVE. Is it okay for me to request that for my bridal shower?


  29. 1. You're not Fat nor Frumpy! But I hate feeling that way!

    2. I love flats with bootcut jeans. And only like skinny's with flats sometimes and only on some people. I think that you can pull of flats!

    3. And Sandals are fine for now. They are cute and you live in Texas, so you can pull it off :)

  30. I live in flats, but I'm in a casual work environment. I seriously doubt you could ever look fat or frumpy!

    I would wear the sandals. I'm in Texas and I saw cute girls wearing them last night. :)

  31. 1. i read Lauren Conrad's Style, and that quote was in the book. I died!
    2. flats are the best. What is wrong with you?
    3. no wedge cousin. sandals are super cute!

  32. bahahah i loved so many things about this post.

    Oh Linda. How you entertain me so.


    Love you.

  33. LMAO - what exactly is a kitten heel? I mean, I'm either in flats, sandals or heels .... so I'm guessing I don't don the mullet of shoes. LOL

    When is the ankle going to be back to 100%????????????

  34. Don't hate me, but I do have a pair of kitten heels...but I haven't worn them in forever!

    I think the dressy sandal thing would be cute for your party!

    And I am not a flats person either...although I do have quite a few pairs. I just feel so short in them! Heels definitely do make you feel not only tall, but also skinnier!

    Oh - and you are totally not FAT AND FRUMPY!!!

    Have fun this weekend - the invite...Love it!

  35. I totally know what you mean, I'm SO short that flats don't make me feel sexy or anything at all. I like wedges though, and those dressy sandals look cute too!

  36. I say fancy sandals! I don't like myself in flats either. I just bought my first 2 pairs of flats since like 4th grade. I needed some mommy shoes because I feel like a slut momma taking my baby to the park in heels or wedges...and it's too cool out for flip flops...haha...but I just feel so weird in them. I'm thinking about cowboy boots for my flat shoe days.

  37. you are for SURE not a fat frumpy freak. that is literally the last thing I would think of in correllation to you!

    Why do those flats look so amaze on all those celebs? they never look like that on me - but I rock them thought because I am 95 feet tall and everyone I work with is a nugget. grrr

    I would go with the dressy sandal. It's still totally hot here too and I saw tons of peole wearing sandals and flips today. Go for it! When it's hot you can dress for the weather OR pretend its cold and bundle up.....we win either way!

    AMAZE invites - you have talent!

  38. That dressy sandal is fabulous and I feel ya on gaining the extra lbs - so hard to get them off but don't worry - you are still beautiful! :)

  39. i use to absolutely hate flats ... but now ... i have found a new love for them. they aren't as ugly as they use to be!

    but yes, i agree, there is nothing like a shoe with a heel! the illusion of tallness always makes me happy.

  40. Sorry about the ankle injury, I can relate I had to wear flats all last summer. Now I have plantar fasciitis and it feels better to wear wedgies and heals...something to look forward to...LOL


  41. I am a fan of flats... but I'm 5'9. LOL I do agree though, heels are my shoe of choice.

    Hopefully your foot gets better quickly! I think you should do the sandal. They're so cute, and since it's warm there, why not!! :)

  42. Oh - also... I HATE kitten heels. Either do a flat or an actual heel. Make up your mind! :)

  43. I'm a flats-over-heels person because I'm so tall...of course, I do own a few pairs of 4 inch heels and I rock them sometimes ;) But not too too often because when I do I end up towering over everyone!

    Totally agree about the kitten heels though.