Recap of Court's Bach Party in "Nawlins"!

Happy Monday and Happy Turkey Week!

Last week was a little cray cray, so my apologies for just now getting around to recapping Courtney's Bachelorette Party weekend in New Orleans. Hopefully it is worth the wait as New Orleans is full of characters, many of which can be found in photos below.

I really don't think you can go wrong hosting a Bachelorette Party in The Big Easy, especially if you have a mascot who goes by the name of Dr. C to accompany you. He was quite popular the entire weekend.

Bachelorette Decor for the hotel room

Friday we flew into NOLA from Dallas at an ungodly hour.  Like I had to wake up before 5 a.m. to make our flight ungodly.  By the time we got to our hotel and checked into the room it wasn't even 9 a.m.  Oh yes, long day of shenans to be had. 

After we spent a few minutes getting dolled up, we took immediately to Bourbon Street to enjoy the day.  One of the first things we spotted was a wedding march.  How sweet is that "just married" couple with their umbrellas?

One of the first bars we ventured into had these "Chugglers", which might have been the best purchase of the weekend if I do say so myself.  You can bong a beer from the comfort of your own cup. 

In this same joint some rando man wanted to take a shot, so naturally I volunteered to join him.  Jäger bombs before 11 a.m.?  Only in NOLA, folks.

Next we took back to the street and ended up in Bourbon Street Blues Company where our bachelorette, Courtney, received a couple of G rated lap dances from some nice young lads.  You're welcome. 

At this point we realized we probably need to get some food in our bellies if we were going to make it through the first day, so we headed to the French Quarter to sight see before stopping to have a casual lunch at Cafe Pontalra. 

After lunch we went to Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop, which was built between 1722 and 1732, and is reputed to be the oldest structure used as a bar in the United States. The Hurricanes and Bloody Mary's were STRONG:

After a drink at the historical and supposedly haunted Lafitte's, we went to "The Swamp" where I spotted this elegant creature next to me at the bar.  My friends were shocked I whipped out my phone to snap her picture, but this was an opportunity I was not going to miss.  #riskworththereward

Rat Tail hair how-to post coming soon!

Courtney rode this ride while at The Swamp, and I seriously have not laughed that hard in a long time.  The guy operating it was such a perv that we all refused to ride it after she got thrown off.

We made a few more stops on Bourbon ...

... before we walked home to change into our matching tees and put wigs on:

If this isn't how you are taking shots ladies, then you've been doing it all wrong.  This delicate flower picked Courtney up in the middle of the bar to feed her a shot from her mouth. Ummm ...

I have no words. Shortly after this shot was had, we had a late dinner at Oceana Grill.  While leaving dinner, I stepped off the curb, which is when the ankle #2 incident happened.  As you can tell, we had a long day and every one was ready to retire for the night so we all got in a cab and went home. 

The next day, we put our shirts on again (I mean, it's New Orleans ... never mind we had worn them the night before) ...

and walked (I hobbled) to Cafe Du Monde for their world famous beignets:

When they are served warm, they are worth all the hype. If you ever go to New Orleans, a stop here is a must:

After a light breakfast we had a very casual day sans booze where we walked to the Riverfront mall and gambled a little in Harrah's before a late lunch at Acme Oyster House.

Ew, excuse my awkward smile and haggard look.  I had the crab and corn chowder with fish po boy. #todie

We had late dinner reservations (9:30 p.m.) that night @ Emeril's New Orleans, so we went back to the room to get ready and have Court's lingerie shower.  We all had wine and champagne while she opened gifts before a little game of "pin the macho on the man".

A cup has never been more perfect for me:

Dr. C showed up towards the end of our dinner at Emeril's. There were plenty side-eyes from a few patrons in the restaurant, but the staff loved him.

Come on people, it's New Orleans and a bachelorette party. Get over it.

I highly recommend you get a Dr. C of your own if you are out for a Bachelorette Party on Bourbon Street. Every single person was throwing beads at him and stopping us on the street.  Even this "lady" who gave Courtney a bachelorette whipping:

I think it's best I end on that note.  Love me some New Orleans.  Don't you?

The frumpy flats are back

New Orleans and I obviously don't get along.  I can't believe it either, but it happened again. I wish I was kidding, but I swear on my DVR box(es) that I'm not:

This time I was merely stepping off a curb in flat boots and next thing I knew, I was on the ground.  My ankle twisted and popped and then there were tears.  Some gentleman tried to pick me up and I yelled at him to stop.  Sorry sir, but I just knew I needed a minute to let the shock sink in.

This marks the fourth time this has happened in this ankle.  The first two times were from gymnastics.  Twice now in a matter of a month, so I have an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon on Wednesday.  Odds are I'm going to have to have surgery to tighten the ligaments.  Awesome.

Other than the ankle incident, the trip was so much fun and I can't wait to recap all of our shenans for y'all tomorrow.  I just wanted to check in and let y'all know I am alive, but injured.  I have lots of fun pics; even one to prove that I am, in fact, rocking polygamist hair:  

Please excuse my unintentional "ombre" hair.  It's been 11 months since my last highlight.  


p.s. You may have noticed there was no guest post from Jess on Friday.  She had a little situation Thursday that I'll let her tell y'all about.  I just hope she had as fabulous of a time in NYC as I did in NOLA. 

Full NOLA recap post tomorrow!  Time to catch up on all of your blogs.  I feel so MIA.

Confess Sesh: I'm a hot mess edition

Breaking news y'all: By this time tomorrow I will be gallivanting down Bourbon Street in FLAT shoes with a little sizzer in hand. That's right my compadres, the time has arrived for me to make my (not so) long awaited return to The Big Easy for Miss Courtney's Bachelorette Party Weekend Extravaganza. 

Me and Court this past St. Patty's Day!  Prepare yourselves Nawlins, we're coming for you.

Every one bow your heads and say a quick prayer for me.  I refuse to be rolled home in a wheelchair again.

It's no secret I'm a hot mess, which brings me to today's post.  I'm just doing my part to make you feel better about your lives. 

I confess I have been sleeping on orange self-tanner stained sheets for almost a month.  Like, it's unacceptable.  

Note: This is a google image, not my bed.  But close.

I confess that I haven't seen my stylist for a hair cut in so long that I look like a straight up polygamist.  Don't go trying to wife me up with Kody Brown just yet though because I finally have a hair appointment for next Saturday.  Can I get a hallelujah?

via

I confess that I moved over a month ago and I still have more unpacked containers and boxes than I care to count.  Last Sunday my brother came in my room and told me he was turning me in to A&E Hoarders. 

I confess that I seriously contemplated checking my crutches on the plane for tomorrow's trip "just in case".  Better to be safe than sorry, right?

I confess that when I spent last weekend painting, I went 3 days without showering.  I'm still finding paint on my body and in my hair.

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I confess that writing this post has made me feel like the biggest scumbag of all time.  I'll understand if you turn me into the proper authorities:  The Department of Health

Hasta La Vista B's and Viva Las Vegas!

I had every intention of doing a fun recap of past Vegas trips for y'all before I left for my bestie Kristina's 5 Day Bachelorette Party Weekend extraordinaire in Sin City.  Butttt ... thanks to a Mystic tanning sesh, a CVS run, Target trip, bridesmaid dress pick-up, lingerie store stop and last minute packing till 2 a.m., I didn't get around to a proper pre-Vegas post for you ladies.  Please forgive.

Instead, I present you with this consolation prize.  Here is a pic of the 2 of us in middle school at the San Diego Zoo.  As if the short jean overalls weren't bad enough, I topped that look off with a snazzy fisherman hat over my mushroom cut.  You know you grew up in the 90s if ...

you ever rocked a smiliar look.

Included in my busy night last night was an almost panic attack when my Driver's License decided to play a little game of hide and seek with me. I found it eventually, but this is beginning to get ridiculous.  I need to get my life in order. 

In the meantime, I promise to keep you updated on all of our shenans via my Twitter account.  If you don't follow, you better get on it.  I can guarantee you there will be some entertaining tweets to be read & pics to be seen. 

As soon as our flight takes off tonight and the flight attendant makes her first round, I will have a frosty bevy in hand.  Wanna know how I know this trip is going to be good?  Yesterday we got our hotel suite comped.  Uh, yes please.  I can't believe I'll be walking stumbling down the gorgeous strip soon.  Eeeeeep!

A little overview of a few items on our agenda:

Booze

Lingerie Shower w/ a game of Pin the Macho on the Man (standard)

Booze

Thunder From Down Under

(May or may not be my 3rd time to see this show and uh, these Aussies NEVER get old!  If you go to Vegas with all your lady friends, this is a must.  You will be transformed when you walk into the room.  Just trust me.)

Booze

Pool Time

(You'll find me in the cabana w/ my big floppy hat and cover up on. The sun and I don't get along.)

Shop

(Hello the Forum Shops at Caesars)

Club it up

Booze

Eat a lot maybe throw a fancy din din in the mix

Fly back hungover hating my life

If my calculations are correct, this will be my 7th trip to Vegas.  It is seriously my favorite place ever. I have loved it from the moment I stepped off my first flight and walked into the slot machine filled airport.  The energy in Vegas is like none other and the people watching is phenom.  Remind me to tell y'all the story of the drunk motorized scooter guy who toppled off the sidewalk and onto Las Vegas Blvd. 

I cannot believe how many of you have told me you have never been to Vegas (unconstitutional!) or are about to go for the first time and need recommendations.  When I return, I will write a "Bargain Blonde's Guide to Vegas" post with my favorite spots and to-dos. 

The love of Vegas must be in my blood. My Grandparents were hardcore Vegas travelers so I know of a few hidden gems like the Peppermill ... Holly Madison's fave as well.  Last time we were there they were filming her show and asked if we wanted to be extras in the scene. Um, as much as I love to just stand around in Vegas, no thanks.  I've got some roulette to play.

I only packed 9 pairs of shoes this time and 10 or so dresses.  I consider that an accomplishment.  Don't you?  All righty, I'll catch you bargainistas on the flip side.  VIVA LAS VEGAS!  #ihopeidon'tdie