Forgive me blog world, for I have sinned ....
I confess that someone, maybe even Jesus, hates me. If you're my Twitter or Facebook friend, then you probably already read about this story. However, I'm sure you'll still get a laugh the second time around. Here's why:
Last night I was at Aldi picking up some groceries and maybe a bottle of wine jumped in my grocery cart. There I was checking out and minding my own business, when I out of the corner of my eye I see my wine bottle start to topple off the conveyor belt. Naturally, I'm going to jump to the wine's rescue.
Before I know it, I'm on the floor surrounded by a puddle of glass and sweet nectar. Swear. The people's faces waiting in line to check-out looked a little something like this:
Trust me people, I was just as shocked and confused as you. I leapt forward, but ended up losing my balance and flying backwards (I blame the Old Navy flips with zero traction that I was wearing).
All I could think when I realized I had just tumbled to the ground was, "this is not my life." All in the name of wine. But seriously, someone must hate me because I didn't even end up leaving with a bottle of wine. All I got was a bruised elbow and ego.
I confess last Friday I ate a donut (& a few donut holes) and Slimfast for breakfast. They cancel each other out, right?
I confess I did laundry 2 weekends ago and didn't put it away until last night.
I confess the highlight of my week was the Real Housewives of New Jersey premiering last night.
I confess that last week I had to carry my nephew, his car seat plus my Mary Poppins purse down my stairs, so I did what any other normal person would do. I strapped him into the car seat and carried him down the stairs buckled into the car seat. He said "Aunt Lindsey, I'm scared. You're gonna drop me." I would never drop cargo as precious as this:
Happy Tuesday! What do you confess?
i lol-irl about poor little reesey. "aunt lindsey...i'm scared you're going to drop me."
ReplyDeleteand checking my mail is my favorite thing to do. well, not favorite thing to do but i do it everyday and i get really bummed where there is no mail for me just the roomie or some crazy ads. i stick it back in the box so she can get it. but i'm also the weirdo who likes to send snail mail. i have tons of packing boxes from when i've gotten stuff so whenever i need to mail something i have the perfect box. it might be ridic.
Bahahaha...I love your little nephew's quote!! And I'm totally craving a doughnut now!!
ReplyDeleteToo funny!!!! Loving the leftovers...you're human! Kori xoxo
ReplyDeleteAt least you folded the laundry and then didn't put it away... I have unfolded baskets of clean laundry that I will need to "fluff" in the dryer before folding and maybe putting away!!! I suck!!!
ReplyDeleteYour nephew is too cute!
ReplyDeleteI have unfolded laundry in my basket, that has been in there for over a week, that needs to be folded! Ah :( I use to love getting mail, when I lived with my mom! ha Now I dread checking the mail! & I haaate getting gas!! I feel like I wasting my time & $! ha
awwww that is such a sad story about your fall, and you didn't even get your wine. i was gonna tweet you last night to go home and have a glass of wine, good thing i didnt! who knew...
ReplyDeleteand yeah, i think i have some pretty gnarly stuff leftover in my fridge too. i think its my roomates, though maybe she thinks its mine... vicious cycle... LOL
I would defiantly jump to the wine's rescue. I'd be ashamed if you didn't. :-)
ReplyDeleteI also confess that I've been stuffing my face with Krispy Kreme donuts ... OOPS.
I am sorry about your fall, & your elbow. OMG, I want some donuts! I can't remember the last time I had one. I need to change that real quick. & your nephew, the cutest! I miss mine.
ReplyDeletexo $ARMIN
hahahahaha "aunt Lindsay, I'm scared, you're gonna drop me" HAHAHAHA!! He is pretty PRESH though :)
ReplyDeletelove your wine story. only you.
you know, we are never going to get bikini ready if we keep eating like SHIZ! and they still make Slimfast??
NEW JERSEY IN DA HOUSE! What did you think?? Who do you like? hate? do you hate Teresa's sis-in-law? her cousin Kathy????? and where the eff is Jacqueline's baby boy??
Oh my goodness, that is such a funny story! And I would have totally done the exact same thing to try to save a bottle of wine, no doubt!
ReplyDeleteAnd I've been looking forward to RHW of NJ for far too long! Loving the addition of Teresa's sister in law! This season is gonna be a good one!
I love the confessions...I may have to join....such a cute post. Sorry about the bruised elbow...that is yucky!
ReplyDeleteI don't mind DOING laundry...but I do mind folding it and putting it all away! I mean it only takes 10 minutes to do it, but good grief, I hate it!
ReplyDeleteSoo I LOVE Real Housewives! My roomates fiance lives on the SAME street as some to the housewives of O.County. I am like ummm...I will be making my way to Cali REAL soon.
You nephew is precccioussss.
And yes, totally cancel each other out.... :)
Ah what would we do for a bottle of wine! ;)
ReplyDeleteK.
I love these confessions. SO glad I found your blog, this is great! I totally understand reaching for the wine, lol :)
ReplyDeleteI'm just shocked you drink slimfast. Ewww. Why would you engage in such nastiness?!
ReplyDeletei'm pretty sure I've done most of these things! i open my mail, but won't ever look at it again even if I intend to "save" it. and the last one is just hilarious-- I would deffff do that! haha
ReplyDeleteI love the wine story! Most any girl would have done the same! And throwing leftovers out I am horrible with it as well. Your nephew is adorable.
ReplyDeleteSO FUNNY!! I'm sorry about that wine story . . . the worst part is that you didn't even et to leave with wine! Maybe you should consider having your wine delivered, hahahaha.
ReplyDeleteHilarious about the slimfast & donuts and btw I never put my laundry away. Ever.
xoxoxo!
(p.s. funny about you and coffee and cardio. Today I literally could not do it without coffee. I usually try to make sure there's at least 15 mins between coffee and exercise, but I gotta have it!)
minus the nephew (because i don't have one) we are like the same person! {oh and checking my mail - because i'm an online shopping whore and basically always have a gift to myself waiting. facepalm.}
ReplyDeletein my second life, i'll come back as a mouse - we can be like tom and jerry. it will be great.
oh and lindsey - clean out your fridge and stop being such a slob - gah! ;) haha
confession posts are always the freakin' best. this is no exception.
ReplyDeleteDid you at least lick up some of the wine? because I think I would have.
Oh and I read that you had eaten a donut and slimfast on Friday and immediately went and bought two donuts. I felt like a sick little fatty. So thanks hahaa
CarissaExplainsItAll
Hilarious! Super cute post!
ReplyDeleteI love this! No one hates you! I think the slim fast negates the donut holes!
ReplyDeleteI hate laundry! Once my laundry is clean and folded it sits for awhile before I even attempt to put it away!
Reese is so adorable!! Such a cutie!
LOLLLLLLLL again, I'm cracking up!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe wine story is HILARIOUS. And I so did not know Aldi sold wine?! Where have I been!? (Obviously not in Aldi).
And I never check my mail unless I'm expecting money or clothes in the mail. In fact, last year, my mailman closed my mailbox! I was furious! Apparently when you don't check your mail for 2-3 weeks, they assume you move and tell the post office you no longer live there. Talk about a burden to get things back up and going. Now I check it weekly or so.
And I don't put away laundry. In fact, my laziness allows me to do laundry, pull it from dryer (a few days later of course), sit it on my kitchen counter, and then once it ocmes time to do laundry again, I throw it back in the wash so I can avoid folding or hanging it for another couple of weeks. It's really quite sad. My laziness hopes I don't have kids one day or I'm screwed.
Happy Wednesday!
LOLLLLLLLL again, I'm cracking up!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe wine story is HILARIOUS. And I so did not know Aldi sold wine?! Where have I been!? (Obviously not in Aldi).
And I never check my mail unless I'm expecting money or clothes in the mail. In fact, last year, my mailman closed my mailbox! I was furious! Apparently when you don't check your mail for 2-3 weeks, they assume you move and tell the post office you no longer live there. Talk about a burden to get things back up and going. Now I check it weekly or so.
And I don't put away laundry. In fact, my laziness allows me to do laundry, pull it from dryer (a few days later of course), sit it on my kitchen counter, and then once it ocmes time to do laundry again, I throw it back in the wash so I can avoid folding or hanging it for another couple of weeks. It's really quite sad. My laziness hopes I don't have kids one day or I'm screwed.
Happy Wednesday!
my comment was so cool i posted twice. fabulous.
ReplyDeleteHaha. I love this post. Too funny! I give you credit for trying to "save" the wine. I would have just let it fall and grabbed another one. :)
ReplyDeleteUm…….WHAT. real housewives of NJ premiered tonight? I had NO idea… all the while, I was watching RE-RUN EPISODES of how I met your mother?? This is tragic. Im embarrassed. And disappointed. I am obsessed with it all. really any reality TV. Even mob wives. Its bad.
ReplyDeleteUm…….WHAT. real housewives of NJ premiered tonight? I had NO idea… all the while, I was watching RE-RUN EPISODES of how I met your mother?? This is tragic. Im embarrassed. And disappointed. I am obsessed with it all. really any reality TV. Even mob wives. Its bad.
ReplyDeletebaaaahahhahah I literally laughed out loud at the car seat thing..girl you are too funny!
ReplyDeleteI hear ya on the Easter leftovers! Because I confess that far too often leftovers get buried in the back of my fridge and forgotten, only to be discovered a couple weeks later no longer looking like they did when I cooked them up. Sigh.
ReplyDeletehttp://aserendipitouslife.blogspot.com
haha... I am so sorry you fell but I needed that laugh~! I can see me doing the exact same thing! So funny!
ReplyDeletelol sorry to hear about the wine fiasco! But it makes for a terrific story!
ReplyDeleteI STILL have Easter eggs in my fridge. Gross. I better throw those suckers out!
this post really had me laughing! :D
ReplyDeletelove your blog, new follower