Socially maxed out. Woe is me.

You know those people that are always on the go?  The type that can't stand to be at home by their lonely? I'm the complete opposite of that person.  There is nothing I look forward to more than zoning out on my couch watching shows like Flipping Out (Jeff Lewis = my hero) and painting my nails. 

Ironically enough, watching reality TV is my escape from reality.  It's my chance to indulge in mindless entertainment and not be bothered by anyone or anything.  Having nothing to do is THE best, and when my down time gets threatened, I get major anxiety.  That's exactly what's happening for the next 9 months of my life.  I get stressed out just thinking about it. 

Apparently most of my friends decided to get married, knocked up or were born at the same time because for the next 9 months, I'm booked.  For instance, here's this month:  

Granted, things like Wine Wednesday and Happy Hours aren't techincally "required", but whatevs.  My social calendar is only picking up after July.  Just when am I supposed to squeeze in Teen Mom, Big Brother, Toddlers & Tiaras, 20/20, Dateline, etc.?
 
August: Beth in Dallas, Megan's Baby Showers
Sept: Vegas for Kristina's Bachelorette Party
Oct: Courtney Bridal Shower, New Orleans with this girl
November: Las Vegas for Courtney's Bachelorette Party, Courtney Couple Shower
January: Court Wedding Dallas
February: Kristina Wedding Las Vegas

It probably seems like it, but I'm really not complaining.  It just freaks me out to have this many things coming up.  I'm not normal, but we already knew this.

There are definitely perks to going to Vegas 3 times in 6 months aside from the fact I get to go to my favorite city ever.  I get an excuse to shop, and since anything goes in Vegas, I can finally wear this dress that's been hanging in my closet FOREVER:

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I really think it will accentuate my stomach rolls. 

Obviously I'm JOKING.  This is something a lady of the night would wear.  For serious now, don't you think these would be cute?

LuLus: $63 [via]



LuLu's: $36 [via]



LuLu's: $30 [via]

My body is in absolutely no codition for that third dress (or really any dress for that matter), so I guess in what little free time I have, I better start stepping up my gym game.  I go to the gym so often, they all know me by name.  Lieing.

There are clearly a lot worse things in life to be worried about.  Trust me, I know this.  I just thought I'd share some of my stressors with you lovely readers.  It's theraputic.  Try not to call me shallow because I swear I'm not.

My very own La Plate and antique oil lamp

Before I get into my La Plate and "Benjamin Franklin" lamp, I have to tell you excited I am that today has finally arrived.  Today is my PAY DAY.  This blonde took broke to a new level this month.  On Tuesday I charged a value-sized bottle of Barefoot Riesling and a loaf of bread to my credit card.  Necessary?  Absolutely.  

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My dinner for the last two nights has consisted of wine and a PB&J and I wouldn't have it any other way.  This is a luxury only a single girl living alone can enjoy with no judgment.  I get to watch the latest ep of "Teen Mom 2" while laying on my couch, adorned in my Snuggie I swore I would never own but wear every night, one hand in a bag of White Cheddar Natural Cheetos (mine & my neph's new fave) with the other grasped around a glass of cheap wine. Y'all ... this is my life and I make no excuses.
  
As perfect Emily told Brad at the beginning of this season's Bachelor, "It's better to be home alone than home wishing you were alone."  Amen sister.  I get to watch whatever trash TV I want when I want, I can eat cereal for dinner and polish off a bottle of wine with absolutely no (OK, maybe a little) shame.  I don't have to forgo Desperate Housewives or Brothers and Sisters when the NFL takes over every man's Sunday night (been there, no thanks).  I mean, don't get me wrong, relationships can be fabulous, but so can being single.  Yes, I'll throw myself a pity party from time to time, but I've learned to embrace the single life.  This is the last time in my life I don't have to worry about anyone else's needs but my own, and I plan on enjoying every second of it.  I refuse to waste my twenties living in the future worrying about what is going to happen down the road.  My life is what is happening now, not worrying about when I am going to get married, buy a house, have kids, etc.  Ya heard???

Wow.   I don't know where all that came from, but I'm glad that's off my chest. Now to the topic at hand.

So you may remember I had a La Plate on my Christmas wish list, and guess what?  Santa (aka my Grandma) came through!  My bedroom is chocolate brown, light green, some bronze and a little bit of white.  So I decided on brown on brown.  You likey?

Isn't she a beaut? 

My Grandma also has quite the collection of antique oil lamps, and she surprised me by bringing me my very own when she came to Dallas for Christmas.  This was bought from an antique dealer in the late 1970s by my Grandpa in Ohio and my Grandma estimates its about 100 years old.   I absolutely love it and I think it looks perfecto on my dresser turned "second night stand".  In this pic you can see the lamp plus how I use my La Plate as a trey/catch all. 

And a closer look:

Notice my Lafco House and Home Collection candle? This candle was featured as one of Oprah's Ultimate Fave Things this season.  I haven't really disclosed this yet, but I'm obsessed with her.  Every night I watch her show that I DVR during the day and now, I also DVR almost every single show on her OWN network.  Is she trying to ruin me?  I don't have any more room in my TV line-up.  UGH! 

And for inquiring minds, that is Aldi's Lacura - Q10 Anti-Wrinkle Night Cream and it's only $3.99, smells heavenly and I lather it around my eyes every night.  Just check out the rave reviews of it on Make-Up Alley.  It's now a staple in my skin care routine.

"When you're dreaming with a broken heart ...

... the waking up is the hardest part." - John Mayer

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I thought about doing this post a while ago, but eventually decided against it because I wasn't sure I wanted to get too personal on here. But after spending time with some of my best girlfriends this weekend, and after they made a toast to me “finally being back”, I thought maybe I should write this since I’m at a completely different place in my life than I was last year.

This past year was quite a transition for me, and I can truly say now that I’m so thankful for all the changes. I started this blog a few months ago, which I'm loving writing and I got a new job that I'm enjoying and see lots of opportunities for growth in my new position, but the beginning of 2010 didn't start out so great for me.

At this time last year almost exactly to the day, I felt like my world had completely crashed down on me because of a break-up with my first love. It sounds so dramatic and I never thought I’d be that girl, but there I was. I was that pathetic, heartbroken girl who couldn’t stop crying and dwelling over a guy.  I didn’t want to be around anyone because I didn’t want to talk about it, but the isolation made the sadness so much heavier. Break-ups are like a death - you have to grieve. And grieve I did.

I could never have imagined saying this then, but I look back now and I’m truly beyond grateful for the heartbreak I endured. Without it, I would most likely be living a lifetime of regret eventually marrying a man who was the complete epitome of everything I did NOT want in a spouse. Now it is so easy for me to say, “WHAT WAS I THINKING???” (And I still ask myself this all the time) One of my favorite quotes is, “The more you loved someone, the less sense anything made.” Seriously, this couldn’t be truer for me.

Supposedly “time heals all wounds”, but I don’t know if I believe that. I think it’s what you do with that time that determines if your wounds are going to heal or not. There are a lot of things in life we are predisposed to which are out of our control, but there is so much we do have power over. I’m a firm believer that you can’t blame your life circumstances on who you are or let it hold you back from what you are capable of becoming.

I had been hurt pretty badly by an important person in my life several years before this break-up, and I had a choice to use it as a clutch in life or I could let it make me a stronger person. Admittedly it took a while and a lot of “why me?”, but eventually I decided that even though I couldn’t control this person’s actions, I could control mine.

I came to this realization again this year, and this philosophy of controlling your own destiny gave me my power back. It’s nothing I didn’t already know, but sometimes we have to remind ourselves of it. With the help of amazing best friends, my loving family and a lot of self-reflection, the pain began to subside a little bit every day. Before I knew it, I was back to my happy place.

Of course I’m not perfect and everyone has good and bad days, but I'm what my friends said, “Finally back”. I’m back to the old Lindsey Lee. The pale, blonde girl with a splotchy sunless tan who is obsessed with reality TV and loves wine with the girls. I can’t say I would want to go through last year again, but I’m glad I did and I can’t wait to see what 2011 has in store.

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