Sunday Funday: The I'm getting a gun edition

Before I get into why I spent an hour last night crouched down in my apartment with 2 kitchen knifes, a flash light and 911 ready to be dialed on my phone, let's talk about the pleasant part of my "Sunday Funday".

So, my Sunday started off pretty average.  I woke up, ate a bowl of cereal, went to Starbucks for a latte and hit up Bed, Bath & Beyond to look for a curtain panel for my guest room. 

I ended up with this Nicole Miller Chateau panel in blush, which I used a $10 off $30 coupon.  FYI - BB&B coupons never expire even though they have an expiration date on them.   

I got the curtain to block light and sound for when my nephew naps.  I wasn't sure how I felt about the panel pulled to one side look, it has grown on me.  What do y'all think?

Once the curtain was hung, my intent was to tackle cleaning and laundry. What I'd tackled instead was my couch, a bowl of popcorn, a pickle and a coke zero. It's obvious where my priorities lie:

After I got caught up on Real Housewives NYC (Was Sonja serious with that burlesque poem?  Insert me giving her major side eye from my couch.) Watch What Happens Live and Teen Mom, I decided to start some laundry and pick the crack den up a little before Big Brother started. 

Any other Big Brother fans out there?  Hands up!!  Jeff and Jordan aka "JeJo" aka my favorite BB players ever are back in the game and I could not be more excited about it:

[via] LOVE them.

Now, let's fastforward to around 10:15 p.m. shall we?  There I was minding my own business watching Diane Sawyer's Primetime Interview Special with Jaycee Duggard when BAM!   An unidentified object slams into my patio window. 

First thought: "Umm, ok Lindsey ... don't panic.  I'm sure it's nothing."

Second thought: "WHAT IF THERE IS AN INTRUDER CREEPING ON THE PATIO TRYING TO BREAK IN?  GET YOUR PHONE IN CASE YOU NEED TO DIAL 911, GRAB SOME KNIFES AND HIDE." 

I mean, literally this could not have happened at a worse time.  I'm sitting in the dark watching a story about a kidnapped girl who was held against her will for years.  I was convinced I was about to become the next Jaycee Duggard.  With a flashlight, my phone set to dial 911 and these in hand:

I mustard up enough courage to peek through my patio blinds to see if anyone was there. Deep sigh .... no one on the patio. 

Oh, but wait ... who is the shirtless, tatted up man pacing back and forth in the parking lot?  Awesome.  Why was he shirtless (shirt in his hand) and why was he pacing back and forth??  Questions I still don't know the answer to. 

After an hour of me crouched in the dark keeping an eye on this freak, he finally disappeared.  I baracaded myself in with my barstools at the doors (just in case) and went to bed.  The moral of  the story is, I watch way too many real-life crime stories and I've decided I need a gun. I hope your Sunday didn't involve any questionable characters & let's hope no unidentified objects get thrown at my window tonight.  The end!

Confession Session

Hello friends!  Deep breath, it's Friday ... thank you sweet geezus.  It's been a rough week and I'm in desperate need of a few days off.  I feel that some blog therapy is in order, so a confession session it is.

Forgive me blog world for I have sinned ...

I confess that I am not adventurous at all when it comes to trying new food and drinks.  However, last night the waitress convinced me to try the "Guava Gimlet", which was an elixcer of sobieski vodka, lime juice, simple syrup, guava puree and pineapple juice.  Two thumbs up and the perfect drink for a hot summer day. I should try new things more often.  Maybe.

The Guava Gimlet aka heaven in my mouth.

I confess that I want to move to the UK and become a Gypsy so I can have my very own Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.  Have y'all seen this show on TLC?  One word: amazing.  If having neon green and blue bridesmaid dresses at your wedding is wrong, then I don't want to be right:

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I confess that I use my car as a second closet.  My mother's reaction upon seeing the contents of my trunk was and I quote, "You have more shoes in your car than most people have in their closet.  That's not normal."   It's not normal to have 13 pairs of shoes in your car?  I don't see what the problem is here.

I confess that although I'm a bargain shopper, I hate the smell of Goodwill and it literally makes my stomach hurt. The only thing I've ever purchased there were movies for my nephew.  They have quite the collection of old school Disney VHS for only a $1 a movie.   I know what you are thinking ....  yes, I still watch VHS.  Please be kind, rewind. 

I confess I'm going to an 80s Party tonight and I have absolutely no idea what I'm wearing.  Where do I find 80s attire?  I'm thinking of hitting up Plato's Closet (another smelly store that makes my stomach hurt).   All I know is I wish the teasing queen PinkLouLou lived by me so she could poof this Bargain Blonde some 80s hair because when I attempt to tease, this is what happens:

All right my little bargainistas ... Don't be shy, what do you confess?  I don't judge.

If I had any chance of a date, consider it officially gone ...

Because if any dude sees me with oatmeal slathered all over my face, I'll be doomed to be dateless in Dallas forever. With that said, I feel it is my duty to let you girls know what you are getting yourself into if you try the DIY Oatmeal and Egg White Face Mask I posted about yesterday.

For good measure, I poured a glass of deelish vino before embarking on this at-home beauty adventure.  May I suggest this Gnarly Head Old Vine Zinfandel my friend Andrew brought me for our 4th of July grill-out on Sunday?  It really goes down super smoothly and is very tasty.  Oh, and under $10 bones.  A price I can co-sign. 

It's not the white Zinfandel that you think of when you hear the word "Zinfandel".  It's actually a wine with rich, dark berry flavors and is said to pair well with BBQ pork ribs, moms favorite Chili or steak fajitas.  Personally, my glass paired well with last night's season premiere of Teen Mom 3.  Score!

Now that you got your bubbly in your belly, let's move onto THE MAIN EVENT:

For all you non-single ladies out there, make sure the boyfriend/fiancee/husband isn't expected home for at least 15 minutes or have him brace himself because he might see you lookin' a hot mess.

I picture text this beaut to several friends and my favorite response was,"That's gross. Did you just cover your face in baby food?"  No sir, no I did not.  Just a little egg white, oatmeal and lemon concoction.  Totally typical Tuesday night for me.

I know exactly what you're thinking because I was thinking it the entire time too ...

The mask after 15 minutes of drying.

I was pretty confused during the entire process.  Why did I look like a hobbit with a bad flare up of facial warts?  The paste was falling off my face in clumps, so I kept rubbing it in.  Eventually I realized it wasn't going to rub on like lotion, so I decided to give it the 15 minutes it needed to work it's magic.

I gotta tell you though that within the 15 minutes, my skin started to tighten up.  So tight I could barely open my lips wide enough to purse my wine glass.  I knew something must be working and sure enough, my skin had never felt tighter.  Once I washed it off with cool water and a wash cloth in the bathroom sink, my post-mask skin was super soft and firm.

Say it isn't so! It's a Christmas Miracle ... the potion actually works. 

A few last instructions to minimize your "THE HELL!?" confusion moments throughout this process:

All ingredients totaled less than $2.

Remind me next time NOT to post any DIY beauty regimens before actually trying them myself.  I would prefer to work out all the kinks for you ladies first.  K? Great.

Now you are fully equipped to benefit from easy at-home beauty treatment that promises to produce lots of laughs.  Just don't forget the wine!

DIY mask to soothe sun exposed skin

Most of you probably spent a lot of time in the sun over the 4th and your skin may be feeling the effects of it.

And even though I tried to stay in the shade when possible, wore a big floppy hat and lathered on SPF 70+ like it was my job, I still feel like my face is looking pinker than usual so I've decided it needs some TLC.

Ever since I found this DIY salt skin scrub, I have been on the look-out for other at home DIY beauty treatments.  I do all my research the old fashion way: Google. 

The first DIY mask that tickled my fancy was this simple, DIY Egg White and Oatmeal Face Mask, which promises to soothe and exfoliate skin. 

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3 Ingredients:

• 1 egg
• 1/2 cup of oatmeal (old-fashioned oats, not instant)
• 1 tsp lemon juice

Natural Ingredient Benefits

• Oatmeal is a natural skin soother and oil absorber,
• egg whites help tighten pores and rebuild damaged skin and
• lemon juice is an exfoliate.

Directions

1. First, crack an egg in half, separating out the egg whites. If you don't know how to do this, they provide a step-by-step guide.
2. Combine oats and lemon juice with egg white, creating a paste.
3. Rub the mixture on your face, avoiding your eyes.
4. Leave on for 15 minutes.  You should start to feel your skin tighten and maybe a bit of stinging in sensitive areas like your nose and mouth.
5. Wipe the mixture off your face with a paper towel and then rinse the remainder off your face.

Sounds easy enough, don't you think?  Plus, most of us probably have these ingredients in our kitchens already. 
 
I'm going to test this out tonight and I'll let y'all know what I think of it.  Do you have any DIY face masks you recommend?  This bargain blonde would love to hear.  I'm a face mask virgin!  Help.

A few things before we part for the 4th

I don't know about y'all, but this week flew by for me and I'm not complaining one bit.  Want to know what else I'm not complaining about?  The 3 day weekend we have coming up, which I plan on spending at the pool while enjoying some frosty beverages with friends. 

Speaking of frosty beverages, I've wanted to share this with y'all since Robert text me about it earlier this week.  Did you know that Crystal Light now sells a limited edition MOCKTAIL mix?  

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Contains just 5 calories and 0 carbohydrates per 8 fl. oz. serving / Sweetened with a blend of non-nutritive sweeteners

Since the word "MOCKTAIL" isn't in my vocabulary, what I plan on doing is mixing a pitcher of the Crystal Light Margarita and adding tequila and fresh squeezed lime.  Homemade Skinnygirl Margarita anyone?  Done way cheaper?  Done and done. 

I will have to let you ladies know how it turns out when I get back to blogging after the 4th. Let's hope it's as tasty as I envision. 

Also, I'm excited about debuting my 4th of July bikini (under a cover-up) that I got at WAL-MART.  Yes, Wal-Mart.  The bottoms are red tie and the top navy blue with white star halter.  Only $6 a piece. 

Who would have thought Wal-Mart had cute suits?  News to me, but their OP line is super affordable and very cute.  You should def give if it a look.

Could not find star top online, but string solid navy here / Red bottoms here

Guess who is headed to Old Navy after work for a cute white cover-up?  This girl.  Don't you think one of these would be cute over my Americana suit? 

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So I've got the sweet nectar covered, a patriotic swimy suit, a cover-up to disguise my large and in charge thighs and look what I got on clearance for $12.48 at Target this week?  Yes, this little lady that I blogged about last Friday: 

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Too bad I couldn't find my Tommy Hilfiger Taniki to dust off for the holiday weekend.  It would have been a real head turner.   Please meet me and my mushroom haircut at 15 years old modeling by a dumpster.  Normal. 

 Have a safe and fabulous 4th of July!  I will see you bargainistas back here on Tuesday!