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Tuesday, July 5, 2011

If I had any chance of a date, consider it officially gone ...

Because if any dude sees me with oatmeal slathered all over my face, I'll be doomed to be dateless in Dallas forever. With that said, I feel it is my duty to let you girls know what you are getting yourself into if you try the DIY Oatmeal and Egg White Face Mask I posted about yesterday.

For good measure, I poured a glass of deelish vino before embarking on this at-home beauty adventure.  May I suggest this Gnarly Head Old Vine Zinfandel my friend Andrew brought me for our 4th of July grill-out on Sunday?  It really goes down super smoothly and is very tasty.  Oh, and under $10 bones.  A price I can co-sign. 
It's not the white Zinfandel that you think of when you hear the word "Zinfandel".  It's actually a wine with rich, dark berry flavors and is said to pair well with BBQ pork ribs, moms favorite Chili or steak fajitas.  Personally, my glass paired well with last night's season premiere of Teen Mom 3.  Score!

Now that you got your bubbly in your belly, let's move onto THE MAIN EVENT:

For all you non-single ladies out there, make sure the boyfriend/fiancee/husband isn't expected home for at least 15 minutes or have him brace himself because he might see you lookin' a hot mess.

I picture text this beaut to several friends and my favorite response was,"That's gross. Did you just cover your face in baby food?"  No sir, no I did not.  Just a little egg white, oatmeal and lemon concoction.  Totally typical Tuesday night for me.

I know exactly what you're thinking because I was thinking it the entire time too ...
The mask after 15 minutes of drying.
I was pretty confused during the entire process.  Why did I look like a hobbit with a bad flare up of facial warts?  The paste was falling off my face in clumps, so I kept rubbing it in.  Eventually I realized it wasn't going to rub on like lotion, so I decided to give it the 15 minutes it needed to work it's magic.

I gotta tell you though that within the 15 minutes, my skin started to tighten up.  So tight I could barely open my lips wide enough to purse my wine glass.  I knew something must be working and sure enough, my skin had never felt tighter.  Once I washed it off with cool water and a wash cloth in the bathroom sink, my post-mask skin was super soft and firm.

Say it isn't so! It's a Christmas Miracle ... the potion actually works. 

A few last instructions to minimize your "THE HELL!?" confusion moments throughout this process:
All ingredients totaled less than $2.
Remind me next time NOT to post any DIY beauty regimens before actually trying them myself.  I would prefer to work out all the kinks for you ladies first.  K? Great.

Now you are fully equipped to benefit from easy at-home beauty treatment that promises to produce lots of laughs.  Just don't forget the wine!
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24 comments:

  1. LOL, I love the "creep" photo, just adorable(?)...I thought we shouldn't put lemon stuff on our faces...? Or maybe that's just for people with acne. IDK.

    xo $ARMIN

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  2. Hahaha!!! So awesome.

    Boy or not, most def worth the two bucks.

    Oh and love that you reffered to it as facial warts!

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  3. dying over your reference to a hobbit. haha i heart you

    well hey at least the mask worked!

    oh...can you smell the eggs when its on your face?!? I was wondering about that!

    xoxox

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  4. despite your oatmeal face...you still look hot. and i'm sure you look even hotter after you took that shizz off! ;)

    maybe i'll get brave enough to try it one day.

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  5. That's so funny! I use this mask a couple of times a month! Kudos to you for being brave enough to have photo evidence! I usually have to sneak it in when hubs is away because I'm pretty sure it would lead to divorce, ha!

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  6. baaaaaaaahaaa oh my goodness..this is ridic! I can't believe it actually worked..that's awesome..I want to try it but now i'm kinda scared ha

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  7. Yikes...that is a tad bit hobbitish, but glad to hear that it works. Will definitely try it out. :)

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  8. Hahaha, this is great! I read your DIY post last night and it inspired me to finally try that Pangea Organics facial mask and my face looked JUST like yours except my mask was this dark green/brown color. Gross. Luckily, I was home alone and only freaked myself out when I looked in the mirror :) Can't wait to try this!

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  9. hahahah yeah that looks nothing like the picture below HA!!!

    oh and I LOVE gnarly head!! I buy that all the time. girl after my own heart. Get your ass here so we can lounge on the boat and drink some.

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  10. I bought a bottle of Gnarley Head once just because I liked the name...can't remember if I liked the wine though lol!

    I am so lazy at going out of my way to make masks, OK not gonna lie, I've never done it! This one sounds pretty easy though I should try!

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  11. I want to try the mask now! I LOL-ed when you wrote your face got so tight you could barely open your lips to purse your wine glass. I don't know why, but that was hilarious! And clearly a downfall of tightening face masks!

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  12. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    But so trying this tonight.

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  13. I have the perfect bottle of wine that will go with "the hell" mask. Yup, that is what I am calling it. So trying this over the weekend. :-)<3

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  14. Maybe you are suppose to whip the egg white before combining with the oatmeal and lemon. Sorry I called you wart face last night. Do you remember I used oatmeal, stuff in the foot of a panty hose to smooth sunburn on you and your brother when ya were little? Yep, I am as bad as TOT MOM -- I let my little angels get sunburned, so you can blame me for all of your wrinkles in the future, but not now because you do not have any. Love Mom

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  15. LOVE your oatmeal face! say profile pic! ;)

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  16. Gnarly Head and I are quite familiar with one another. Maybe a little too familiar. Happens. Tell you what, my face needs to get familiar with that oatmeal mask. My face is dying for some TLC! Thank you for the recipe!

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  17. I need to try this! If you say it works...! By the way, you look about 15 in that first photo! It must have really tightened your skin ; )

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  18. LOL
    LOL
    LOL
    LOL
    LOL

    these kinds of posts are why i love you so dearly.

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  19. I LOVE THAT YOU KEPT YOUR EYE-LINER ON! BTW, THANKS FOR THE ADVICE LAST NIGHT! IT REALLY HELPED! LOVE YA BUNCHES!

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  20. hilarious. I'm going to have to try this. Annnnd. I'm obsessed with Teen Mom. Expect many posts dedicated to my hatred toward Amber and my love for Caitlyn (how is she the most stable of them all!?)

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  21. "...within the 15 minutes, my skin started to tighten up. So tight I could barely open my lips wide enough to purse my wine glass." haha! that's my girl

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  22. I'm convinced that you need to come my way and have a girls night...we can invite Raven cause I love her too...we will eat that mexican layered dip, and drink your crystal light skinny girls, and put weird concocted masks on our faces....

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  23. I can't even tell you how hard I laughed at this. I am crying and if I'm going to be honest, I truly almost tinkled. I tried to explain it to my husband, but he never thinks these things are as funny as I do, probably because I've been there. Thanks for the entertainment!

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