Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Gas station pick-up lines

A little something light today for your hump day.  

I don't know what it is but apparently the gas station is the place where skeezebags have decided to holler at me this week.

During my lunch break on Monday I stopped by the gas station to fill up my tank.  When I went inside to pay, a man with a fully gold grill yells out to me, "Hey girl, how you doing?"  I don't make eye contact, I say "hello" and I move along inside to pay.  

When I come outside he is just perched up against his work truck and asks, "Hey, do you need me to take you to lunch?"  

Me:*Awkward laugh*  "No thank you."

Skeezebag #1: "Why not? Come on."   

Um, I'll tell you why not.  You're probably 50+ years old and have a mouth full of gold.  Do you honestly think I would go to lunch with you, a stranger, who is loitering at a gas station?  But instead of saying what I was actually thinking I .... *Awkward chuckle again*

Skeezebag #1: "Well, do you need help pumping your gas?"

Me: "No."  And I locked myself in my car until he got the hint to drive off.

So that happened Monday.  

Well Tuesday I go to another gas station down the street to pick up wine a few things and this transpires:

I feel this dudes eyes on me as I make my way around the store and I once again make no eye contact when he's standing by the register as I go check out (even though he had already paid). 

Skeezebag #2: "I hope whoever you're going home to treats you good. If not, I'm telling my mamma and then Obama." 

Ummm what? Sir, that doesn't even make sense. Cue me awkward laugh AGAIN.

Then he puts his hand out to introduce himself. WTF? I don't want to a) touch your hand and b) I definitely don't care what your name is. 

So next he puts his hand up to his ear pretending to make a phone call to his mom telling her all about the blonde girl standing there in a black dress. Yes, this was happening. 

I give him an awkward chuckle and keep my back to him as I'm paying hoping he gets the eff out.  He sees I'm ignoring him so he tells me, "I'm going to make like a tree and roll."

Actually Einstein, the saying is "make like a tree and leaf" and you can do just that. Sick.

I mean, what girl would find this type of behavior endearing, charming, appropriate, etc.? Does this ever actually work for them?  These are questions I need answers to. Y'all get back to me because I'm off to Happy Hour. Holla. 
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  1. Yay for happy hour!!!!!

    Those poor guys just have to try hitting on you because you are probably the prettiest thing they have ever seen!!!! You gorgeous girl you!!!! They could not leave this earth knowing they never tried to hit on you!

    :) Happy Wednesday love!

  2. Some guys are sick! I was walking home today and some guy in the car rolled down his window and started trying to talk to me! Then he followed me! Creepy.

  3. Bahaha!!

    Oh. My. Gggawd. This always happens to me when I'm at the gas station.

    I either pretend like I don't know english. Or I just stare at them and give them "the face"

    ... watch this youtube video:

  4. Yikes...I have often asked myself the same question. When I walk from the school I work at to the metro (which is all in a less than lovely neighborhood), I often hear "Hey lady" or some other version of this. On Monday some guy started calling "Hey!" after me. I ignored, kept walking, he said it like 3 times and I turned around, awkward smiled and he said something (I can't remember now) and I just turned around and kept walking to the corner of the street.
    Creepers. Ew.
    Go happy hour and enjoy it :)

  5. Oh my Dad, must be in the air. I had to get gas yesterday before work; meanwhile, I had no makeup on (duh I do it in the car like a normal person). Cue some weirdo pulling up right next to me, who, as my gas is pumping, knocks on my car window and asks me, "is your name Gabrielle?" I just gave him a strange look and shook my head no, and he proceeded to tell me I look familiar with a creepy smile on his face. Awesome, dude.

  6. So jealous of your happy hour!

    And what creepers! Seriously, I wonder about that. I honestly don't know what goes on in these guys heads {clearly nothing} to make them think that ANYONE would find that attractive. And that is why they are still single. gross.

  7. UGH I have been there. It's so awkward and uncomfortable and I have often mused about that very question: do these dudes actually think they have a chance?! Do they just ask out 1,000 girls in the hopes that 1 will say yes? GROSS.

  8. Oh goodness, I think some guys are just oblivious to how to get a girl!! This hasn't happened to me quite in the same way but I've heard some bad lines recently.

    Have fun at happy hour!!

  9. Gotta love gas station creepers!! There was one close to where I used to live that asked everyone for rides. Who gives creepy gas station man a ride?? Not me!!

  10. eeeeeek creeperrrrs. I really hope this doesn't work for any guy because then I may be really concerned. Holla to Happy Hour though!

  11. Oh goodness. Not that I get hollered at anymore, but when I did, I always wondered about guys who do it out of their car window (usually at gas stations.) Do they think we're going to run up to their car and squeal, "Oh my gosh, I've been waiting for someone like you my whole life!"

  12. This is the funniest post I have read in a while. Seriously...where do the gas station creepers come from? And why are they so confident? Must be the meth. Keep killin em girl:)

  13. haha this is freakin' hilarious! Stop being so stinkin' cute, and the problem would be solved! ;)

    i want to follow you on twitta buuuuuut your link isn't working? Is your username LindsLeeTHEBB ? hmm..idk it's not working?

  14. My favorite response is "yo no hablo Ingles." Now, I look far from being of Spanish decent but it usually gets rid to the creepy hicks because I have found them to be not too fond of those who do not speak English. =)

    I used to know it in German, but I never used it enough to remember it lol!

  15. HAHAHAAH! Sorry to laugh at your expense but these are just hilarious. First of all, I doubt skeeze number 2 has a mama or knows obama!

    And I think the pun he intended to make went unnoticed by everyone around but you. Clearly, gas stations are not your place. BUt I mean if you get desperate for a man ever, at least you know you can go there to find one! :)

  16. I always meet creepers at the gas station! But the one near my home is next to an autobody shop so theres always cute country boys fixing cars. A trade off for when I have to face the creepers back at my college

  17. This seriously made me LOL. I can't believe the lines guys use. I can't stand it when guys yell out to me and say something so freaking stupid. Its like "Oh yeah, that sounds like a good time, let me turn around and get in car with a stranger!"

  18. OMG-reminds me when I used to work in the city and the construction workers would yell out the most vile things. I was like-REALLY? Does that ever actually work for you?

  19. Creeper stories are hilarious!!! But I have no idea why the mamma/Obama line didn't work for you?! Pretty charming if you ask me (full blown sarcasm, fyi!)

    I get extra creeped out when I'm running and get whistled at or something. I mean, I'm a sweaty GROSS mess in a t-shirt with pit stains... notthinggg good to look at there!!

  20. I'm sooooo dying over here. LMAO!

    I can so see this "sigh" and "chuckle" .... bahahahaha!

    Um. Here in south Texas, if you have make up on and pump gas, that's an open invitation to stare and make cat calls. And don't even think about what happens when you wear heels. I try, ok make myself, look as gross as possible when at the pump.

    I believe you've hit your quota of weirdos for the month. Oh wait... isn't the parade this Saturday? ;)

  21. i read this last night on my phone and i was having to hold back laughter tears.

    even though i know the story i can picture you saying those exact things and i can picture the clowns saying it to you. 1) b/c of i've totally been in that sitch before and 2) b/c i know you that well.

  22. Bahahaha! I totally laughed out loud while reading this... Not laughing at you.. But laughing because I know how accurate this is. Gas stations terrify me. The people there are soooo sketchy. And I do the same thing... Awkwardly giggle and stare at the ground hoping I don't make eye contact!

  23. hahaha - gas station pick up lines are usually the worst. and they're usually delivered by the most disgusting people. i just don't get it. do they look in the mirror that morning and say "wow, lookin' sexy wit yo greasy hair, tin foil grill, and homemade tattoos. that old mustard stain on your too small muscle shirt is SEXAY. Let's go hang out at the gas station and pick up some bitches! I'm lookin' too fly to sit at home alone." i just don't get it, haha.

    cute post! =)

  24. you need to move to NJ stat! the only state in the country that full service is a law! i tell the greasy dude to fill my tank and never have to leave the safety of my car!

    then again - you are one hot mama, so they might still try to find a way to get to you! LOL

  25. wow what creeps! I am sorry that happened to you girl!

    You are just too gorgeous they cant help themselves..


    really? cant they learn some other "pick up lines" or meet woman ELSEWHERE than the 'pump'? lol

  26. I am so sorry this happened to you girly! Men want what they can't have and you are super cute!

    This is why I pay with a card and hurry up so as not to have to talk with anyone at the station.

  27. Hil-Freakin_Larious!!!
    Only In Dallas!
    Uurghh.. I hate it when dudes ramble on
    "say gurl, say gurl, let me holla at u"...
    I basically give them the look of death, and they usually back off lol.

  28. girl this happens to me on the creepy!!!! Like no joke! The only gas stations near my work are what I like to call "the ghetto gas" I try to avoid these places at all costs but sometimes I'm in a hurry or forget to get gas the night before and end up HAVING to get gas there or run out...I hate being in those awkward situations where you don't know what to say so you just laugh and hope they go away..which is almost never the case!

  29. My friends laugh at this, but whenever I get hit on like this I look at them and say "Ew." That almost always stops them. Anything else they say I completely ignore. I knew my Mean Girl training would come in handy somewhere along the way.

  30. god i hate when guys bother me in situations like that...and even worse when i don't make eye contact & they still continue on talking to me! buttt it is flattering ha ha! that picture is so funny you posted! I am your newest follower!

    xx Kelly

  31. Ahahaha, gotta love the Dallas gas station lurkers. #creepstatus

  32. LOL I love it Lindsey. I know I am so behind but I hope you have fun on your trip ;) ;)