I confess that if one more friend tells me to get on match.com, I will cut them. If I wanted to be on Match, eharmony, plenty of fish, etc., I'd be on it.
One of my married friends has even insisted on more than one occasion that I should join Events and Adventures aka the self proclaimed "Single Events Club". Her text message went a little something like so:
"I'm going to sign you up for Events and Adventures, but I'll do it with you. They do cool stuff like field trips to wine tastings and rock climbing."
Do I look like I rock climb? She may have had me at wine tasting, but she killed it with "field trip". I didn't know adults went on field trips unless they were chaperoning as part of their PTA obligations.
Furthermore, at Oktoberfest this year I saw this lonely man holding up a yardstick with a "Dallas Singles Meet-Up" computer print off stapled to it. No offense, but I'd rather die alone before I'm seen huddling around a "Dallas Singles Meet-Up" sign in a public place. Seriously? That has to be a joke.
I know all you "relationship people" don't understand us "single people" and that's perfectly fine. I don't try to understand you. I also know that being 27 and single in the South is the equivalent of having a third leg, but if I'm OK with it, then you should be too.
I'm 99 percent kidding about this, so my dear friends, let's not get all up in arms. I still have a few more years before my ovaries completely dry up. Until then, let me drink too much and make bad decisions.
I know this entire post contradicts what I'm about to say, but I honestly have no issue with online dating. I have friends who have met their spouses on it. I personally just don't want to be on it right now. Namely because I need to do all three of these things:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I don't understand why people pressure other people to rush into things! When you're single you have to be dating. When you're dating you have to be married. When you're married you have to pop out babies. Jeeze. Let's just let people be happy in whatever stage they're in!!!!! :)
ReplyDeletelove love love. preach on!
ReplyDeletei'm with you on the "field trips" and such. no thanks! my friends tried to join one in charleston and said it was SUPER lame.
this made me cry from laughter.
Furthermore, at Oktoberfest this year I saw this lonely man holding up a yardstick with a "Dallas Singles Meet-Up" computer print off stapled to it. No offense, but I'd rather die alone before I'm seen huddling around a "Dallas Singles Meet-Up" sign in a public place. Seriously? That has to be a joke.
"Until then, let me drink too much and make bad decisions."
ReplyDeleteLOVE - that is my life motto right now. Our twenties are for living it up! We have the rest of our lives to be married :)
I love this post! I don't understand why there is so much pressure to pair up and settle down. I'm 22 and I feel like there is something seriously wrong with me that is causing me to be single. But really, I know that I'm glad I'm single because if there's one time to live it up, it's our 20s, right? Anywho, thanks for the post. Glad to know I'm not the only single 20-something blogger out there. :)
ReplyDeletehahaha oh my god this is hilarious! You shouldn't feel pressured at all!
ReplyDeleteHAHA this is so funny. Mainly because it is all so true! Gotta love living in Texas!
ReplyDeleteGet it!!! Hahaha!!
ReplyDeleteI agree with this post to the T!
Most of my friends are either in a relationship or married. Yes there are times I wish I was in a relationship, but then I remember I'm in Vegas, and I like my single life. Maybe I want to go to happy hour after work and have 4 shots and a couple beers. Maybe I want to go clubbing on a Monday night. And guess what, I can!
That's why some (male) one decided that f*** buddies (or friend w/benefits) was a good idea. And besides, I can spend that extra money I make on clothes and shoes....or wine?
You're cute, you'll find someone. Until then - get drunk, have fun.
I didn't get married until I was 33. I lived in Atlanta at the time. My friends all treated me like I had a problem. I was happy. I had a fabulous job in my twenties that had me traveling every where and left me little time to meet any one. I was fine with it, but I did find that the older i got the more all I met were 22 yr old boys and boys they really were. I finally met a fantastic guy, but never really regretted not settling down earlier. I had a lot of fun during the finding phase of my life.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy!
you're hilar. and who cares about you dating. if you're okay with being a single lady, then so be it. rock it while it lasts and then you'll be totally ready when mr. perfect comes along.
ReplyDeleteThat's one benefit of living where I live (the northern South?)...no one pressures you to get married. On the contrary, it is actually encouraged that you wait as long as you can to get married.
ReplyDeleteI actually told my boyfriend when we started dating that I didn't want to even think about getting engaged until the 2.5 year mark of our relationship. It's now been nearly 2 years and I'm still in no rush.
And F*ck anyone that thinks you need to be on a dating website. I was on one of those for a while before I met the boyf and have TONS of stories. It was good for a hot free meal and a self esteem boost at best and worst.
I say huzzah to you.
I wasn't thrilled when I was single but I was okay with it. I think it's awesome that you aren't desperate to find a man and are just okay with being single you. Not that you don't ever want one but you aren't losing sleep over it. That attitude will pay off because you will end up with the right person when the time is right and not be settling or repelling men left and right with your desperation. They can tell. Plus, you are gorgeous. If you are single my first thought is more that it's b/c you wanna be and not that you can't get anyone. Carry on!!
ReplyDeleteGreat post lady!! Enjoy the single life! Seriously!
ReplyDeleteAMEN SISTA!
ReplyDeletelove it! who cars if you're in a relationship or single, people focus to much on that. whats wrong with just being you (and you as in a general you)?
ReplyDeleteLOL. You are so funny! I agree with you on it all though. I have never had a desire to join an online dating site, even though some of my friends have. Once I gave up looking though, he came along! Thank goodness I didn't sign up!
ReplyDeleteI love this and love your views on being single. I was single for 5 years before I met the hubs. It's the perfect time to get to know yourself and embrace the single life. HOWEVER, when you are ready to date- please go marry Jeremy. End rant. :)
ReplyDeletehahaha love this post. and you!
ReplyDeleteYOU GO GIRL!!!!! HOnestly, I was broken when my ex David broke up with me just after my daughters first birthday in September, yet we had only been dating two months..LOL> I really like the idiot. But you know, I think he did me a favor. I am happy being single, dont get me wrong I have my moments but honestly, with school, and my little one, its a lot and I like not having to be to one person right now. I enjoy it just Sadie and I..and while were on the topic, I went to the gym today with my friend (I am with you on the last part of the starvation and excessive exercising haha ;) and well as my friend and I were coming in guess who walked out!? DAVID! That was a surprise..first off I was like CRAP I just came from school and I look hideous! I was too lazy to go home and look "cute". We both were surprised to see each other, I hadnt seen him since the breakup and well our exchange was brief. Whateva! lol. I was a bit sad after but I got over it!
ReplyDeleteloved this post girl! POWER TO US SINGLE LADIES...my song is RIDIN SOLO! ;)
SINGLE LADIES! I love this rant! You go girl!
ReplyDeleteAnd living in the South and being single sucks a major one! Old fashioned people think we should get married the day after highschool graduation and have babies 9 months from then!
Um, no thanks this is 2012.
Mind ya beezwaxxx granny. :)
I really really HATE when friends are bothered by me being single! They try so hard to find an answer to it when there's no question to be solved! If we're single, we're single! Yeah, sometimes we'd much rather have someone to snuggle up with at night but it's like don't constantly rub that in our faces with the online dating websites! LOL. Cheers to the single ladies!!
ReplyDeletecould not have said it better. seriously, thank you for posting this. it's true....being over 21 and not married in the south is the sure fire recipe for "pity eyes" but i am not one for dating websites....not for me. i want to meet my guy the old fashioned way and i'm comletely content to be as i am until that happens! GREAT post!
ReplyDeleteand this is exactly why i cannot wait til Monday! hahahahaha.
ReplyDeleteWe need to find u a man- ASAP
ReplyDeleteI'm from Michigan and people here have a LOT to say about couples that get married before 25. Actually when people ask me if I'm going to marry my boyfriend and I reply with a yes.. they lecture me as if I said I was going to marry in tomorrow. You're still young! Why spend time on a dating site when you can be having fun? You have plenty of time to settle down.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this... I am literally on my couch laughing hysterically. I know that I'm not 'single' but I could totally have a similar rant involving people who flood me & Matt with 'when are you getting engaged' questions. Everyone just needs to leave everyone else's personal lives alone! That's why they are called personal lives...
ReplyDeleteOh you crack me up girlie. I love your insights. Me personally....I wish I was single again. And I certainly don't EVER try and hook up my single friends unless they ask. NEVER NEVER reccomend dating sights. I wouldn't dare :)
ReplyDeleteComing from a southern fam, I understand the young marriage thing. I was 20, but I think that's silly. Take your time. Get to know yourself. Thanks for the awesome post.
Hysterical post girl! You do what makes you happy! When it's meant to be, it will happen. Until then live.it.up.
ReplyDeleteI got married when I was 29. Best decision of my life was to be single, date... make bad decisions that are now awesome stories... all throughout my 20's. SO glad you're not in a hurry. I don't get the south and why all of the girls here are raised to only want to be wives and moms. Lord, there's SO much more to life in your 20s than that!
ReplyDeleteYou are hilarious. I was laughing out loud by line 2 (so here I am skanks). Definitely agree with you and the other commenters - hate the pressure that comes along with every stage, and everyone else thinking they have the right to probe about your personal life. I hope you drink a lot of wine and make bad decisions this weekend. :)
ReplyDeleteHa, this is awesome - and so true. I was where you were at before I met my current fiance (yes, on Eharmony!!) You'll never be ready when everyone else wants you to be - and that's perfectly OKAY! When it's right - you'll find him (via natural means or online) but only when you're ready for it - not when everyone else wants you to be. If you ever decide to take the leap and join the world of online dating (I read the other day that 40 MILLION people are on online dating - insane!) I'm always here for any advice you need along the way. In the meantime - enjoy the single life :)
ReplyDeleteDon't give in to the pressure!! Do you know how many people I thought were "The One" before I really found "The One." Date when the time is right...enjoy your gf's and your wine. xo
ReplyDeleteand this is why I love your blog! You are so hilarious and manage to get your point across so well and so many of us can relate. I love being single and like you said - if I wanted to be on a dating site, I would be! haha! have a great weekend!!
ReplyDeletePam
So, sometimes I wonder if Jon and I signed up for match.com if we'd be matched with each other. Sometimes it drives me crazy because I want to know... Like it seriously matters. I mean I'm going into year 8 with him and almost 4 years married, why do I need match.com to validate my relationship? I don't, but I mean I'm still curious.
ReplyDeleteThat being said I don't know why anyone would want to rush into a relationship. I would sooo want to have fun fun fun and meet Mr. Right along the way. I mean, you want him to fit into your life as-in anyway :)
BB... Even though I'm not single, I still absolutely love this sex and city quote:
ReplyDelete"Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free till they find someone just as wild to run with them." - Sex in the City
when the right man comes along, you will be ready to catch him in your sweet lil arms!!!! :-) And dont worry about what others say. Be like HAH I can taste test different men and you cant...na na na na na na and stick your tongue out at them
DO YOU pretty girl. Live life. and I bet soon enough you'll meet a blonde husband and your blog can be renamed 'The Bargain Blonde(s)' because im sure you will teach him your barganista ways ;-) love you girl!! Keep on keepin!
speaking of keeping...though not really...my pork is currently crockin away in the crockpot. first time leaving it on alone. Kind of with i had a video baby monitor with me at work so I can watch it crock away all day. Will report to you tonight with a text on how yummy it is!!
xoxox
Ohhhhh, I can relate to this. Up until 5 months ago I was single, and I turned THIRTY this past August, and although I live in San Francisco now, I am FROM THE SOUTH. So I get it . . . trust me. I've been to countless weddings, put on more bridesmaid dresses than I'd like to admit, and have celebrated the babies of almost all my closest friends. It's funny how sometimes you're totally okay with being single--you like your life, your independence, etc., and then other times it's bittersweet.
ReplyDeleteI went through the same thing re: online dating. The thing is that EVERYONE out here in SF does it. Maybe it's a big city thing, maybe it's a west coast thing, I don't know. I finally signed up for okcupid a few years ago and went on dates with 5 dudes. Only one was horrific. But I get how you don't wanna do it now. Maybe in the future, maybe not. It's a great experience for some.
Another good thing to remember (for you AND for me, as these woes don't cease when you get into a relationship, haha) is that people are settling down later and later, which I think is a really good thing! I babysit for 2 families out here, and both of them are much older than, say, EVERYONE I know down south who is currently procreating. The boys I take care of regularly--Milo and Jude--their mama is 41 and was almost 38 when she had Milo, 39 when she had Jude. That's been reassuring to me over the years!
Fortunately for you, 27 is still YOUNG! And you're hot and funny. That will help out, too. :)
Amen.
ReplyDeleteLove this post. Everyone keeps trying to get my best friend to join a dating site. Everyone except me... Cuz I'm awesome!
ReplyDeleteThis post was too funny! There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single at 27. You're amazing and that's what counts. :)
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite posts you've written. Single gals unite!
ReplyDeletePreach on sista , now if only my mom understood!
ReplyDeleteahahaha my mom tells me to go on match.com, Thanks but no thanks!
ReplyDeleteWhere the hell have I been? JUST NOW found your blog & girl...you're the shit! =) To you, & ALL you single, gorgeous girls out there...don't listen to a SINGLE word! I got married at 33 (last year), & I have never been happier! The difference between 20 & 30 is huge (not in size, but in your wisdom/experience) =)...so don't rush! Just because other people have these self-made "time-lines"...don't fall for that BS! "I will be married by 30 with 3 kids"...Can you say Kim K! You see how well it worked for her! Think about it...how many people do you know, your age...who were married, divorced & are single parents already? Don't let that happen to you. Take your time, live your life, and in God's time, not yours...it will happen. Let it happen. Just becasue you're taken, doesn't mean you're loved. NEVER forget that. One of my favorite quotes for you guys is..."Dear Girl, don't worry if you're single. God is looking at your right now saying..."I'm saving this girl for someone special". WAIT for the special one. ANYONE can meet someone & call him "the one", take your time & really LIVE it. Ok...sermon's over! =) Just makes me SO mad that everyone always bugs everyone! BIZNESS...MIND YOURS! And for the record...I'll have kids AFTER I enjoy my Husband for a minute...when I'm good & ready...now stop asking!!! =)Just becasue YOUR clock is ticking...get your own damn kid! =)HUGE hug to all of you & your AWESOME Single-ness! Now go out there & rule to world! =) XO
ReplyDeleteAin't it crazy how people's lives clearly aren't as stressful as yours because they obbbbbviously have time to sit around and worry about your 27 y.o. self. You know? And you are right, people in the south are on a different clock. I'm 28 and married, but we don't have kids yet, and I am constantly reminded that I ain't gettin any younger. Thanks people. Join a club or somethin.
ReplyDeleteHELL-freaking-O, I needed to hear this right now.
ReplyDeleteI'm 28 and have been single for the majority of my god forsaken life, besides a few dates, dating and a boyfriend. Do I care? Sure. Sometimes I do. Especially when I care for someone and it just doesn't work out because of distance or some other dumbass reason. But, at the end of the day I realize that I'm single because I choose to be, for the most part.
I live in Bama, so I feel your pain about the Southern rules of being married before you're 30, and sorry, but I just don't have room for that rule in my life. When I find the person I'm supposed to be with, great- and I don't care if I'm 40 when that happens.
Stupid hoes.
lol :)
awww, I'm a "relationship person" and I totally "get" why girls would want to be single! sometimes I even miss being single :) I'm not saying I hate my life or anything, of course, but there is NOTHING wrong with being single or wanting to be single.
ReplyDeletehow did we get so behind on each other's blogs?? I love you. I foretell you will be married within 2 years. Take my word for it.
ReplyDelete