Why does powdered coffee creamer even exist? It repulses me.
People who think they are "too intellectual" for reality TV. Get a grip.
Decaffinated coffee. Why? That's like drinking non-alcoholic beer and that is just not acceptable.
The fact that MySpace still exists, which means people are on it? This notion disturbs me greatly.
D-bags who wear bluetooths or those horrendous belt-clip phone holders. What would you do if a dude picked you up for a date and had a blue tooth in one ear and his cell clipped to his belt? I'm pretty certain I wouldn't answer the door.
Speaking of d-bags .... How men manage to pee everywhere but inside the toilet.
That some people think that we (Southerners) roam around on horses and wear cowboy hats and spurs like it's normal. We are all aware it's 2012, right? I can assure you this does not happen.
Alexis Bellino's brain.
Chris Brown. You know why.
The list goes on, but these just came to the top of my head. What will you never understand? Do tell.
Um, yes. To all of the above. Preach it, sistah!
ReplyDeletehahahah I was just having a moment like this today when walking my dog. Although not nearly as entertaining or profound as yours, I wondered "How the hell do mushrooms seem to grow out of nowhere in like a split second?" One day they're not there, and the next they are there and HUGE! Loved this post!
ReplyDeleteGirl you know you have those spurs on every time you step out the door! Haha!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd I have NEVER understood non-alcoholic beer...gross!
I've often pondered traffic and the cause thereof: if everyone just kept drivin the speed limit we would not have this problem!
ReplyDeleteHahahaha this is all so true! In with illegally blonde though - how does traffic seem to come out of nowhere?! And also: why do people forget how to drive the second it starts raining? It's just water!
ReplyDeleteOh this is a fun game to play while I'm having a sucky day at work. People who talk on their cell phones in public restroom stalls. People who stick there arm in the elevator for my office building when it is like 5 stories high and there are 12 elevators - just wait for another one asshat! People who ask me what is that there that you are eating for lunch and especially people who come in my office and talk to me when I am eating lunch. GTFO it's QT.
ReplyDeleteamen, girl, amen!
ReplyDeleteLOL!!! Alexis Bellinos brain HAHAHAHAHA!!! She is an IDIOT! You forgot to add Teresa from NJ housewives. Just as dumb.
ReplyDeleteHahahaha! Powdered coffee creamer.. dry heaving!
ReplyDeleteLOL girl I am cracking up. You are so right. Couldnt have said it better myself. Alexis and Jim are meant for each other CRAZY also Teresa she wears me out please bitch you are broke and washed up no one wants you Melissa is hotter!
ReplyDeleteI'm watching RHWOC as I read this so the Alexis thing def made me lol!
ReplyDeleteI will never understand how anyone actually likes the Kardashians or gives them any of their hard earned money for their crappy products they push.
I also live in the south (in FL) and don't know why everyone thinks that the only people who live here are old :-P
Def not true!
I just watched my husband pee by his truck with his drivers side door blocking him while taking a break from mowing the lawn. It's 6:30 pm and still very much light out. We have two perfectly good, working toilets inside. Explain that one to me!
ReplyDeletelove it!!
ReplyDeleteI can think of a lot of things that could go on this list, but we'll leave those to texting convos. So what time ar you going to be here Sunday???? GCB.
ReplyDeleteahaha i love the Chris Brown one. totally true and the people "too intellectual" for reality tv. what is that all about??
ReplyDeleteThis is fantastic. Who the hell drinks non caffeinated coffee anyways? A pleasant high? No thanks. Yellow teeth, stinky breath, and tired eyes? Yes. Two of those, please.
ReplyDeleteOh powdered coffee creamer...I would even take some of that nowadays! I brought some with me when I first moved here since creamer is not a thing here....now its just skimmed milk. sigh. Also chris brown...right there with you! And the Bluetooth headset....I hate those things! and people that wear them look so dumb! its one thing when you are driving...but in the store...use your hands! Great list :)
ReplyDeletehaha, loved this post! Oh I have lots!
ReplyDeleteLets see, why do people fail to use their turning signals? OR they get into the lane THEN put it on???
I was just looking at someone today with a Bluetooth in their ear very obviously NOT on the phone. Kills.me.every.time
ReplyDeleteAmen to the powdered creamer - yuck!!
ReplyDeleteHahha awesome.
ReplyDeleteAnd people who cut you off or do something stupid driving then wave at you. Why??
Bwahahaha!!! Alexis is dumber than a box of rocks!!
ReplyDeleteOn the train...seems like forever on the train...man sitting opposite biting his nails, literally chewing his fingers off... WHY?! Disgusting...
ReplyDeletelook at you thinking of posts without my help! i love this by the way. i wish i was as clever so i could come up with a post of things i don't understand. maybe i'll try to make a list today.
ReplyDeleteTotally agreed with people who pretend they are too smart for reality TV. I'm in grad school and sometimes I need a dose of mind-numbing reality TV for a break from my studies! Ditto on Chris Brown too...don't get me started.
ReplyDeleteAlexis's brain...enough said! haha
ReplyDeletehaha I feel the same about decaffeinated coffee!
ReplyDeleteand the bluetooth. ew. my douchey ex wore one of those alllll the time (much later in our relationship, like right before I left him and after that, I swear! haha)
also, Chris Brown. WTF.
Powder coffee creamer is DISGUSTING. I'll never understand :)
ReplyDeleteAlexis' brain... what the hell is going on in there?!
ReplyDelete"I'm like Katy 'Keurig'" ...
Bluetooth and clip-on belt cell phone holders. Yep! My fiance and I complain/make fun of these all the time.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand people who don't use their blinker when driving. Isn't it like a reflex? It is for me.
Women with big boobs who don't wear a bra. Disgusting!
People who drive 20 mph thru town and 90 mph on the highway.
I'll stop there :)
These crack me up! Saw a guy the other day talking on a blue tooth outside of the gym & thought the same exact thing... d-bag! & I'm so glad you brought up Alexis Bellino... I try really hard to believe that it's just an act with her but, it's not. That really is how she is. Bless her heart.
ReplyDeleteHahaha. Totes agree. Coffee ALL day long, until wine time :)
ReplyDeleteThe only thing that I don't agree with is the cellphones on belt clips. My husband always has his phone on his belt clip because of work. His work is always calling/texting/emailing him.
ReplyDeleteSeriously... Christ Brown, the spurs and horses and decaf coffee... ok all of these made me laugh so hard!
ReplyDeleteI seriously can't handle the blue tooth. I would dead bolt the door.
i LOVE this post! we are serisouly the same person! the chris brown thing probably bothers me the most....i just dont understand how people can look at him & listen to his music & not think about what he did. all i see is rihannas face whenever i see/hear him!!!
ReplyDeleteBWAHAHA!! I've pondered some of those same things! Loved this post girl! XO
ReplyDeleteA.) Never understood decaf coffee either. And I sure as hell don't do powder creamer .... or instant coffee either for that matter. #coffeesnob
ReplyDeleteB.) I drink me up lots of O'douls when I was prego. And I still got tons of stares.
OMG I fing cannot STAND Alexis! I would write a whole post about her but I don't want to give her that much of my time. HAHA She is AWFUL... did you watch the episode this week?? I LOL at everything she says "my husband wasn't looking, he was just being a supportive husband"
ReplyDeleteyou must be joking.
Yes, what is wrong with Alexis?? Can we just talk the 1000 reasons she should not be an anchor on that talk show? How does she not see that she is terrible?!
ReplyDeleteThis post made me laugh out loud! Ha! I could not agree more with ALL of this! Only D-bags use bluetooth devices for sure! :) And Alexis is SUCH an airhead!! Funny, Funny post! Have a great day girl!
ReplyDeleteEveryone always wonders if we even have a Walmart near where I am... Because it's just teepees and buffalo. Uhhhhh. No words. They're always overwhelmed when they come to visit and can't stop saying, "Wow, you guys have more things then we do back home. So. Much. Stuff.". I mean, welcome to the Oklahoma City Metro of 2012 - not 1912.
ReplyDeleteHahahaha, MySpace. Hahahaha.
So, coffee... I feel like Starbucks is like, the best laxative ever. If anyone reads this and says, "Wth is wrong with you?" my response is "Oh it doesn't affect you that way? Yeah, me neither". But seriously, caffeine or no caffeine it has the same effect so while preg I'll totally go for the half-caf. I can't go full on decaf though, I feel like you're not getting your full money's worth.
Alexis's brain. Haven't thought about it because I honestly didn't know it existed. Hate her.
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Love the Alexis Bellino one, I always think that when I watch the show.
ReplyDeletePeople who write "bahahaha" I don't understand where the B comes in...
ReplyDeleteHaha.. Amen to the one about the South. I used to do technical support for Apple, so some things would take awhile to do. The customers would make small talk, and they would ask where I was from. I told them, "Kentucky." A lot of people liked it. You would think by the guys on the phone, it was a dating service lol. So many would want me to "keep in touch" or call them "after hours." Um no. Anyway, one woman was like, "I didn't know people had computers in Kentucky." Bitch. LOL!
ReplyDeleteWhat I don't understand is why don't people know how to use google or internet.
I agree completely with all of it--especially Chris Brown!
ReplyDeleteomg. my boyfriend does the bluetooth headset AND the belt clip and it drives me crazy! The only reason why I let him get away with it is because he works up on a ladder most of the day, and drives a stick shift car and needs his hands available. His brother calls it a "douchebag dingleberry". I think it's quite appropriate - when referring to everyone BUT my boyfriend, lol.
ReplyDeleteI fucking love you!!! "speaking of d-bags.." bahaha! You are too much!! Going to the big D this afternoon always makes me think of you!
ReplyDeleteOMG I'm cracking up at the Alexis Bellino's brain comment. Girl, I have missed reading your blog while I've been MIA!
ReplyDeleteI love that I agree with every single one of these.
ReplyDeleteYou have done a great job on this article. It’s very readable and highly intelligent. You have even managed to make it understandable and easy to read. You have some real writing talent. Thank you. handstand muscles worked
ReplyDelete